When we talk about being a person in recovery, it can be complicated as not every person will find their recovery or sobriety in the same way. 

So, while some people in recovery can start a clean life and not look back, it’s not always that easy, it’s a unique experience for each person. 

This is something for those who are still fighting to beat their addiction, to remember:

Relapses Do Not Mean You Failed

Often, I see people comment on when a person has claimed to be quitting smoking, and has decided to have a cigarette. The truth is, that for many people, going cold turkey is not possible and life is not linear. 

I have not been an active smoker for 4 years now, yet I must have had at least a few cigarettes in the time that I have ‘quit’, but this does not make me an addict. 

We need to remember about the comparison, if you used to smoke or drink all day, and now you only touch those things once a month, that’s a great improvement. That is still recovery.

If you’ve been sober for years and you relapse. I know how hard it can be to see your self-worth, but you are not a failure. You can start again, and it does not make you a bad person for wobbling with your ‘sobriety’. The only thing that causes failure is when you give up on yourself. 

Peer Pressure Does Not State Your Worth 

Many of us have been at a party, or out with friends and family, and someone has decided to encourage us to have a smoke or a drink. 

Sometimes people can be aggressive in their wish for you to have a ‘good time’, even if they know you are recovering from addiction. The thing is though, you should not be deemed as less of a person, or have less value in a group of people, if you choose to stay clean. 

Your worth will never be dictated by another person, so it is more than okay to stick to your own wishes and say no to the things that you do not want to participate in. Remember always, that the people who value you will not care how drunk or sober you are, they will love you for the person you are, regardless.

You Are Not Your Past

It can be so easy to believe that “once an addict, always an addict”. Sometimes, I can have a drink on Christmas and I feel guilty for the girl I used to be, who is telling me to drink so much more. I almost feel like I am betraying my past for choosing not to rely on alcohol, as for me, it was a huge safety blanket.

The honest part of this all though, is that we will always carry our past but we are not the past. It’s past tense for a reason; I was addicted, but I am not addicted now. 

If you slip up, if you have a bad day, you do not have to listen to the voice of your addiction, because that is not who you are. You are strong, you’ve beat that demon and even if on some days, it’s the only voice you can hear, it still does not counteract all the hard work and self-worth that you have found.