Life after getting sober and going through the recovery process can be one of the biggest challenges any human being could possibly face. Life in recovery can be awkward and abnormal at first, especially early on. One of the biggest struggles in recovery is trying to find an identity once the drugs and alcohol are removed. It may be helpful to reflect and look back at who you were before drugs and alcohol came into the picture. I am here to tell all those in recovery who are struggling that as time goes on, life doesn’t only get easier, it gets better.
My Personal Experience
I began my early recovery in a halfway house after leaving treatment nine hours away from home. I spent my 30th birthday doing house chores at my new halfway house. It was certainly a wake up call to say the least. I was still stuck in the rebellious ways of the addict and alcoholic. A twelve step programsuch as Alcoholics Anonymous was something very new to me. I never thought that at some point in my life I would be in a room saying the words, “My name is Kevin and I am an alcoholic.” I forced myself to go to meetings even though I didn’t want to. I was never one to follow or conform to anything. By my rebellious nature, I questioned the program like I questioned everything else in life. In my fifteen years of active addiction and alcoholism, I never tried to get sober. I did not think it was ever possible. I found a home group I loved and a wonderful sponsor to guide me. Once I followed through with the program, every aspect of my life fell into place as it was meant to be. Life was actually beginning to become clear and make sense to me. I found a new life that I would never trade anything for. The scars of my past were stitched together to create the strongest and best version of me possible.
Acceptance Is The Answer
One of the biggest issues we face in recovery is battling and overcoming the demons of our past. Our addiction led us to situations, actions and behaviors that had devastating effects on ourselves, family, friends and loved ones. A lot of people do not wish to admit or embrace the idea that they are in fact an addict or an alcoholic. This is due to the fear of being labeled, judged and bearing the stigma attached to it. We have difficulty accepting things as they were, are or should be. I always find peace and comfort from page 417 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous: “And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation- some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.”Accepting our past is a key step towards being able to move forward to a better, easier way of life.
Staying Motivated And Inspired
Getting clean and sober is the first half of the recovery process. It is important to stay motivated and inspired, which can be a daunting task in early recovery. A lot of us may still feel lost, broken, confused and hopeless. It is perfectly normal to feel this way. We may even find ourselves asking, “what’s the point of staying sober?” Our thought process is that the damage has already been done, there is no fixing it, etc. We cannot change our past but we can focus on what needs to be done in the present. Picking up the pieces and putting them back together is possible. I highly recommend a twelve step program and a sponsor to stay motivated and inspired. A twelve step program includes attending meetings and working with your sponsor. Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous meetings may seem pointless, boring and monotonous at first. After all, we are addicts and alcoholics who are used to playing by our own set of rules. It is important to acknowledge where that mindset has gotten us. The attendance of meetings can help you connect with others who share the same goal of being a better person and living a better life. Attending meetings will help you feel sane and human. It can ease your mind about being an addict or alcoholic. You just have to trust and believe that the program works.
Work The Program
You GOTclean and sober, now you need to figure out ways to STAYclean and sober. Working a twelve-step program is designed just for that. “You get out what you put in.” That quote is especially true for the twelve step programs of Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. The idea of the program is to work on yourself. It is a guide to living a better life and being a better person. Aside from attending meetings, working the twelve steps with your sponsor is a vital part of the program. The twelve steps can be a long, grueling process. The twelve steps require a lot of introspection, therefore, it can be spiritually, mentally and emotionally draining. It can open up old wounds and bring back haunting memories. The end result is, however, rewarding and worthwhile. It allows the opportunity to face your demons and seek forgiveness. It is a vital part of the healing and recovery process. You will learn a lot about yourself and see things from a whole new perspective. The weight of personal baggage will finally be lifted. The recovery life becomes better and easier after completing the steps.
Do The Next Right Thing
Recovery and sobriety is a lifelong process and journey. Sticking with the program will keep you mentally, emotionally and spiritually healthy. You can lose sobriety just as quickly as you can gain it. Even after you have had a good amount of clean time and completed the steps, it is very important to never get complacent. Do not allow your ego to get in the way of your accomplishments. As addicts and alcoholics, the ability to use drugs or drink again is always going to be there. Never forget where you came from or what lead you into the recovery life. It is extremely important to continue to do the next right thing. I highly recommend continuing with the twelve step program. There is no graduation when it comes to recovery. Just because you have completed a program doesn’t mean you should forget about it and stop. Practice the twelve steps every single day. Continue attending meetings and stay in contact with your sponsor. One day you might even be able to use what you have gained to sponsor others and save a life. Nothing can be more rewarding than helping others who have been where you are. The recovery life is like a flower. It takes a lot of time, patience and tender loving care but when it blooms it can be the most beautiful thing ever.
Guest post by Kevin Repass. Kevin is a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. He is a writer for a south Florida-based company dedicated to providing resources and information to all those struggling with drug and alcohol addiction.